So there I was working the night shift at the Moose Ass County Jail with just two other jailers, both “female”. One of the inmates that night decided he needed to go to the bathroom at the end of the hall at . I knew that nobody went to the bathroom at and the fact that this inmate in particular was a 72 year old KNOWN traffic offender only heightened my awareness to his being “System Savvy”.
So I go to the gear room and suit up in my riot gear because I know that having 2 female backup Officers only creates a liability. Once geared up, I stuffed one of our new tasers in the front of my pants in case things get out of control and I have to put him down hard. I grab my capture shield and baton and proceed to the cell.
I hold the baton under my left arm with the capture shield “SHOCK” plate pointed away from my body so as not to inadvertently zap myself. I took the initiative to zip tie the trigger on the handle in case I have to get it into action quickly and don’t have time to get my arm through BOTH of the grips. Experience count’s here.
I carefully unlock the cell door and slide it to the side. As I tried to get the key out, this crafty codger had rigged the hole to hold the key in the lock. I bent down to remove the key and struck the top of my helmet against the bars which knocked me back flat onto my butt. So as not to be caught at a disadvantage, I immediately grabbed my baton and rolled to my left, unfortunately right on top of the capture plate, but I knew that I could use this to my advantage, so while I lay convulsing on top of the shield I began to plan my next move.
Once the battery had run dry I jumped to my feet and tried to swing the riot baton at my assailant. He deftly evaded my blow by standing right in front of me behind the bars. This caused me to shatter the baton, and lose feeling in my hands. I was prepared for such a maneuver and instantly went to my tear gas grenade. I pulled the pin and let loose with the spoon, flinging the grenade at the bars of his cell, the inmate then let the bars of the cell deflect the grenade right back at me and it fell down the front of my riot vest. Being the hardened professional that I am, my instincts kicked into level RED. I immediately “stopped, dropped and rolled” to put the flames on my riot gear out.
I knew at this point, that I was dealing with no mere criminal but instead a criminal master mind of tactical maneuvering.
The inmate feigned laughter as I screamed rolling on the ground while tear gas filled my suit and helmet causing snot and tears to flow freely. I knew however that he was about to make a fatal mistake. He ran from the effects of the gas yelling “HELP” towards the front of the jail, but I knew that he was in reality attempting escape. It was go time.
I reached for the taser, but since my hands were numbed from the baton, and my vision was obscured from the result of the tear gas, I accidentally discharged the taser down the front of my pants. The urine left over from the capture shield incident conducted the electricity and grounded, causing me to let out a tactical shriek, which shattered windows for the entire cell block causing a hazardous situation to the escaping inmate due to broken glass. This had worked to my advantage.
I recovered from the initial shock and low crawled my way towards the inmate trying to ignore the effects of the ever pouring teargas and the electrical prongs that were now hooked into my privates. I could not allow myself to be defeated; I must not allow myself to be defeated. I had no feeling in my legs at this point.
As I crawled I tried to remember my training. I crawled over the glass into the cell the inmate had left. I snapped the key off in the lock and pulled the door shut behind me. I then removed the gas grenade from the front of my vest, ignoring the 3rd degree burns on my chest and hands, nothing a simple skin graft couldn’t fix.
I then used a sheet to cover myself under the bed in a tactical withdraw until backup could arrive.
So I go to the gear room and suit up in my riot gear because I know that having 2 female backup Officers only creates a liability. Once geared up, I stuffed one of our new tasers in the front of my pants in case things get out of control and I have to put him down hard. I grab my capture shield and baton and proceed to the cell.
I hold the baton under my left arm with the capture shield “SHOCK” plate pointed away from my body so as not to inadvertently zap myself. I took the initiative to zip tie the trigger on the handle in case I have to get it into action quickly and don’t have time to get my arm through BOTH of the grips. Experience count’s here.
I carefully unlock the cell door and slide it to the side. As I tried to get the key out, this crafty codger had rigged the hole to hold the key in the lock. I bent down to remove the key and struck the top of my helmet against the bars which knocked me back flat onto my butt. So as not to be caught at a disadvantage, I immediately grabbed my baton and rolled to my left, unfortunately right on top of the capture plate, but I knew that I could use this to my advantage, so while I lay convulsing on top of the shield I began to plan my next move.
Once the battery had run dry I jumped to my feet and tried to swing the riot baton at my assailant. He deftly evaded my blow by standing right in front of me behind the bars. This caused me to shatter the baton, and lose feeling in my hands. I was prepared for such a maneuver and instantly went to my tear gas grenade. I pulled the pin and let loose with the spoon, flinging the grenade at the bars of his cell, the inmate then let the bars of the cell deflect the grenade right back at me and it fell down the front of my riot vest. Being the hardened professional that I am, my instincts kicked into level RED. I immediately “stopped, dropped and rolled” to put the flames on my riot gear out.
I knew at this point, that I was dealing with no mere criminal but instead a criminal master mind of tactical maneuvering.
The inmate feigned laughter as I screamed rolling on the ground while tear gas filled my suit and helmet causing snot and tears to flow freely. I knew however that he was about to make a fatal mistake. He ran from the effects of the gas yelling “HELP” towards the front of the jail, but I knew that he was in reality attempting escape. It was go time.
I reached for the taser, but since my hands were numbed from the baton, and my vision was obscured from the result of the tear gas, I accidentally discharged the taser down the front of my pants. The urine left over from the capture shield incident conducted the electricity and grounded, causing me to let out a tactical shriek, which shattered windows for the entire cell block causing a hazardous situation to the escaping inmate due to broken glass. This had worked to my advantage.
I recovered from the initial shock and low crawled my way towards the inmate trying to ignore the effects of the ever pouring teargas and the electrical prongs that were now hooked into my privates. I could not allow myself to be defeated; I must not allow myself to be defeated. I had no feeling in my legs at this point.
As I crawled I tried to remember my training. I crawled over the glass into the cell the inmate had left. I snapped the key off in the lock and pulled the door shut behind me. I then removed the gas grenade from the front of my vest, ignoring the 3rd degree burns on my chest and hands, nothing a simple skin graft couldn’t fix.
I then used a sheet to cover myself under the bed in a tactical withdraw until backup could arrive.
"Tactical Shriek". Awesome.
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