Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Bikers vs. RUBs: Tips for the press on how to know the difference

(RUBs...God love 'em.  They keep us in good supply of used, low mileage Harleys)


Recently I discovered that Harley Davidson is being sued by what a newspaper called 4 “bikers” because Harley Davidson’s air cooled engine burned their tender, little legs.  The lawsuit claims that HD manufactures “unsafe” motorcycles that run “too hot” when compared to liquid cooled bikes.  My personal disgust for these “bikers” aside I thought I would point out to the news paper that not everyone who owns a motorcycle is a “biker” just like not everyone who cooks is a “chef”.  So to help them get this straight in the future I made a little cheat sheet to clue them in on the difference between a “biker” and a “rich urban biker” or “RUB” as real bikers are so fond of calling  them.

Bikers = think nothing of putting 10,000-20,000 or more miles on a motorcycle within a year.
RUBs = think nothing of spending $20,000-$40,000 on a motorcycle then putting 100 miles on it a year…maybe.

Bikers = tend to ride their bikes to different events.
RUBs = tend to tow their bikes to different events.

Bikers = see worth measured in foot pounds of torque and horsepower.
RUBs = see worth in winning plastic trophies.

Bikers = clean their leathers the way God intended, by riding in the rain.
RUBs= don’t clean leathers; they buy squeaky new ones…every season…preferably from the dealership.

Bikers = knows what a bug tastes like at 60mph.
RUBs = are generally scared of bugs and think they’re “yucky”.

Bikers = love a vintage HD motors and thinks knuckles, shovels and pans are sexy.
RUBs = love shiny paint jobs, tassels, and whatever else you can bolt on from the factory.

Bikers = love to ride.
RUBs = love to park and show off.

Bikers = will be 100 miles down the road before the RUB finishes sponging the dirt out of his spokes.

Bikers = own tools.
RUBs = have 800 numbers to call for roadside assistance.

Bikers = will “settle it” if they have a problem with someone.
RUBs = will call their lawyer to get a “settlement”.

Bikers = know that a gray beards are earned and to be respected.
RUBs = stain their beards pretending to be 20 years dumber (assuming you ever see a RUB with a beard).

Bikers = see a gray beard with a limp and chalk it up to “toughness” “commitment” and “experience”.
RUBs = see an old man with a handicap.

Bikers = know, show and expect respect.
RUBs = think respect is something you get from the logo on the side of your gas tank.

Bikers = have brothers and sisters.
RUBs = call people “bro”.

Bikers = know they’re bikers for better or worse.
RUBs = wonder what RUB means…wonder if they are a RUB…wonder if maybe they are bikers.

Bikers = see a parking lot full of motorcycles and want to go in and see what’s going on.
RUBs = see a parking lot full of motorcycles and worry that the corresponding building might be full of villains, ne’er do wells and bad guys unless of course it’s a dealership party. 

Bikers = earn patches.
RUBs = buy patches.

Bikers = understand motorcycles have hot pipes, hot engines and can be dangerous.
RUBs = sue a manufacturer because they burned their drumsticks while riding a motorcycle wearing only shorts and flip flops. 

Bikers = understand the beauty of simplicity.
RUBs = can’t wait to see ABS brakes, GPS systems, air bags, air conditioning, surround sound and if possible, a reverse and/or automatic transmission on a motorcycle.

26 comments:

  1. Bikers do not need to ask why their dog sticks its' head out the window of its owners car/truck

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  2. Amen Bro !!! Hombre! plus [Bikers know they are Bikers!]

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  3. IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME I HAVE BEEN BURNED BY A HOT HARLEY I WOULD BE ONE RICH S.O.B. NOW .....THEN I COULD B CALLED A RUB .SO I WILL JUST TAKE A NICKLE FOR EVERY TIME I HAVE BEEN BURNED BY A HARLEY AND BUY MY BROTHERS A CHEAP BEER AND JUST B A REAL BIKER. Gray Beard,AND PROUD MEMBER OF THE IF U DONT LIMP U AINT SHIT CLUB.... Will AKA Ratbikewillie Gypsy M/C

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  4. DANG, I'M A WOMAN AND I GUESS I'M TOUGHER THAN ALOT OF MEN (RUB'S)...I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT MY MOTORCYCLES...PUT ME IN THE WIND, INCLUDING THE HEAT FROM THE BIKE AND THE VIBRATION...ROSE

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  5. I ride about 200 miles a week, have shotguns, and have had for 20+ years on my 30 year old shovel.
    I never been burnt, then again, I don't ride in shorts and tennis shoes, I wear what you are supposed to, jeans and boots.
    Rubs are fun to laugh at, stupid to talk to.
    Greybeard, (more white than gray)

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  6. I own a 2009 FLHTC... I was never made aware of the 'excessive' heat problem when I was in negotiation to purchase the bike from the dealer... I have owned a number of bikes... all air cooled... so, heat has never been an issue for me... till now...!

    I have added an oil cooler and heat deflectors... The deflectors have helped a bit... but, since my last servicing the heat has become even more of an irritant...! Why do I have to spend all this extra $ to try and handle the problem...? Do you not think that HD should have added these things to all the bikes fitted with the 96 EVO since they knew about the 'excessive' heat for so long (1999?)...? Or, do you think it is fair to have the consumer take the hit and have to try to minimize the heat problem on their own...? If so, I guess you prefer to spend extra cash on a problem that the manufacturer ought to be trying to deal with (some 12 years now) and help with by having their engineers figure things out...

    The other problem... that my service guy keeps telling me is 'normal'... is the weird grinding / hissing I get when in fifth (5th) gear... How can this be normal unless he means that it's normal because HD have skimped on the quality of what they are putting in their transmissions... I believe this to be true (inferior parts)... Why is that when they are asking top dollar for an inferior product they don't build a superior product... Hmmm...?

    Are there others out there having these problems...? And, are they getting any satisfaction in having the issues addressed and dealt with from their dealer and HD themselves...?

    The heat is most excessive on the right side... If anyone is experiencing the 'excessive' heat please let me know what you are doing to bring it down... Thanks.

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    1. Your bike is a Twin Cam, not an Evo. Twin Cams run hotter than Evos. Dressers run hotter than non dressers because they're heavier and don't get as much airflow to the cooling fins on the engine.

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    2. wtf mate, whining about your poor 2009 HD running hot, the aluminum is hypereutectic and needs to be heated to expand conjuctively and uniformly, this along with proper lubrication is what extends the life of the motor.

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  7. How in the hell else can we iron the inside of our pants legs????

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  8. To the guy burned by the 2009 flhtc: Ok, so I've felt the heat from my '08 Road King too, never had the problem with the '93 FXR. So what do you do about it? Sue the company? How about just don't buy another Harley, or at least not one of the new ones. If I find myself buying another bike, maybe I'll go back to the FXR (man I miss that bike...) But a company competes on its quality - if this is a real problem, they'll solve it or not make much money. But lawsuits? I mean come on, it's as if you're saying you've got a right to obtain a bike - from HD - to support your habit. Not just a right to find a bike and ride it, but that somehow Harley has a responsibility to you to cool your tush, that can somehow be legislated. Next thing, you're going to be saying HD should be publicly owned and controlled so as to ensure that "Every American can experience the coolness of being a biker but live in complete comfort doing it".

    Sheesh. I'll never understand that mentality. Company makes a product with a problem, then just don't buy it. Don't whine about your loss. Get a Honda. Get a Suzuki. Get a Victory. Complain with your pocketbook if you don't like it. Or maybe, get a better set of leathers, I don't know. I know if I sit in traffic it burns my butt. If I'm going a mile a minute down the open road I have no problem. So where do you think I spend my time? If you're sitting in traffic maybe what you need is a Vespa. Seriously - there's a time and a place for everything, even Vespas.

    I hear it's gonna rain Tuesday. Good, I needed to wash my leathers.

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  9. I am a woman who was raised on motorcycles. First it was mini bikes, then dirt bikes, then my Dad helped me build my Harley. For me, I love my "Old School", 1976, shovel head, sporty! It might not have the power, luxury etc. of newer bigger bikes but,there are no heat probs, just pure fun! If I have to wrench on it a couple times a week, I can't think of a better hobby.

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    1. Your sporty is an iron head, not a shovel.

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    2. I was thinking the same thing but I could see how she arrived at that.

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  10. The problem with the heat coming off the right side of the bike is the damn catalytic converter take it off and put true duals or a good 2 into 1 and the heat your leg up crap will go away

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  11. By the way you will only have that problem on geezer glides such as road kings and ultra classics etc. all the touring bikes 08 and up. The softails and dynas dont have catalytic converters on them. Ask your self "why" do i need all this luggage on my bike ive rode from texas to canada with only a round tbag in the front about 3 1/2 " round and a swingarm solo bag and had plenty of f in storage space

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  12. I have true duals on my 2007 FLHX, and if I'm sitting in traffic on, say, Las Vegas Boulevard in, say, July, then I definitely have an "excessive heat" problem. Otherwise, no. Try outfitting your Ultra with crossover true duals, which will redistribute some of the heat. Don't sit in traffic. Don't ride in shorts. Sell your HD and buy a water-cooled bike if you're sensitive to the heat and feel that HD should somehow fix it for you. Or just sell your bike and turn on the air conditioning in your cage.

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  13. well actually all HD have cats on them from 2010 on . Touring in the headpipe ,softails and Dynas are in the muffler

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  14. If your bike has ever been to a shop, your a rub. If your idea of customizing is bolt on parts your a rub. If you come up to me to tell me how cool my scoot is then tell me your dreams for the one you want to build, your a rub. If its not being built by you it never will be so dont waste my time. If you have not wrecked on a shitty road or in the rain your a rub. 90% of the bikers you see out are faking it. I will be the last bike on the road riding in illinois winters

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    1. I haven't wrecked on a dirt road or in rain or at all for that matter and I always ride like a bat out of hell and have been riding nearly daily for the better part of 20 years on 2 Harleys and a suzuki. Sounds to me like you need to learn how to ride.

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    2. congratulations here's a trophy

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  15. Then there are the ones in the middle. they definitely arent RUBs, but their not hardcore either. they're the ones wearing the right clothes, just enough dirt on their shoes, rides their bike everyday, hangs out with other bikers at the right type of bar, even rides in the rain, but doesn't have a badass bone in his body, is too scared to ride hard and fast, wouldn't know the first thing about fixing anything on the bike if it broke, and backs down if someone got in his face, but damn, he looks the part of a biker! isn't that what counts? ha.

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  16. 2009 FLHTC has a "service guy" and "negotiates a deal" prolly has no idea of which end of a screwdriver to hold, has to be told all things that might be unpleasant or not to his liking or will sue. He is less than a RUB and doesn't belong on 2 wheels and needs to be in a trainer cage having Mommy drive him around. I got bugs in my teeth, a grey beard and limp along using a cane. I own my tools and do my own work. Not some dealership do it for me, while I threaten to sue him for a perceived slight that wasn't negotiated in the deal. I have also been at the bedside of friends injured by a cager and had to plant a couple.

    You sir, (I use the term loosely) need to sell your bike and go get a chauffeur while the rest of us ride off into the proverbial sunset. Time for me to shut up and put that biotch into the wind...............

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  17. So in order not to be a RUB I would need to have a low paying job, live in the trailer park or out in the sticks, grow a beard? I'm a RUB and we laugh at you too. We think it is funny that your identity and likely most of your money is tied up in a bike that designed, manufactured and marketed by the people that are RUBs. I do occasionally see real bikers riding in the rain, almost exclusively on BMW's. The Harley riders are parked under an overpass. As far as RUBs keeping up the supply of low mileage Harleys ... well one man's junk is another's treasure.

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    Replies
    1. designed marketed and manufactured by rubs lmfao

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  18. You can't make a sow's ear out of a silk purse

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  19. Also, having AAA is RUB...lulz

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