Do Loud Pipes Really Save Lives?

I’ve seen it on T-shirts, patches, hats and stickers, the “loud pipes save lives” verbiage.  Back in my sport bike riding days I used to just roll my eyes, picturing some yuppie on a shiny new Harley sitting at a stoplight revving the crap out of his engine until you couldn’t hear yourself think.  I really hated those guys and pretty much considered HDs to be obnoxiously loud, under powered, stink machines for dummies with too much money.  Running my sport bike to and from work every day for years taught me a lot of things about the nature of people on the roads…that the human being while behind a steering wheel is an intellectually challenged, antisocial, borderline homicidal sociopath with a tendency to find anything in the world more interesting than actually driving.  People came over into my lane without looking on a daily occasion, using my turn signals only invited people to speed up to prevent me from getting in front of them and people in any driveway, yielding green light or stop sign at any intersection just couldn’t wait to pull out in front of me so that I would have to slam on my brakes in order to prevent buffing their roof or hood with my butt.  In fact it got so bad that I just started to anticipate it, everywhere I went and just thought it was a normal part of riding.  I wore a Joe Rocket UFO jacket with all the reflective patches and piping on it.  My Ninja was silver and orange and I was fond of loud colored accessories.  I was about as visible as Richard Simmons at a Republican political rally but it still wasn’t enough.  People drove around like I simply wasn’t there.

A couple of years later, a friend of mine finally convinced me to buy a Harley.  I didn’t have much money so I was looking for a steal when I found an XL883C, 2005 with low miles on it that I just couldn’t live without and within a couple of months I was back on the road again.  The bike was noticeably louder than my Ninja was but I still had the occasional cager pulling into my lane without looking, still had trouble at intersections (though less so) and still had people speeding up to prevent me from getting into their lane, pretty much par for the course though I did notice that it was happening less frequently.  Finally one day I got the bike rejetted and the mechanic asked me to fire it up.  I did and he made a sour face and said “that doesn’t sound right” and looked up my tailpipe (which had VTwin Mfg. slip ons with baffles).  He stood back up and said to me “you gotta pull those baffles out, your strangling your bike with those things”.  So I promptly went home and did just that.  When I fired up the bike afterwards it sounded like the end of the world was coming, huge rumbling sound but with raspy overtones that just “hurt” the ears, even still I was thrilled.  After riding around for a week or so like that I noticed not a single car came into my lane, I felt like I literally owned intersections because everyone was looking my way and that cars pulling out of parking lots and driveways yielded without any swerving, locking brakes or frantic steering on my part.  Everywhere I went people stared…then I realized it was because I had become “that guy”.  The dude with the obnoxiously loud bike revving the crap out of his engine at intersections (though I generally did not do that and still don't) so back to the mechanic I went. 

I told him I liked the attention my bike was getting, people were getting out of my way and were no longer cutting me off or stealing my lane but that the harsh, raspy, out of control exhaust note just seemed over the top.  We figured out lollipop (a type of quasi-almost-baffle-thingy) might be the answer given the narrowness of my pipes combined with their overall length (which were full length).  It worked like a charm, I still had a monstrous exhaust note, very deep and resounding but it didn’t make small kids cry every time I would ride by, maybe just run to their parents instead.  I was satisfied that cagers could hear me and therefore be aware I was in the immediate vicinity.

As I thought about it I started paying attention to my own driving habits while in a cage.  Whenever I was driving alone, listening to talk radio or even some music I could definitely hear some bikes.  Whenever listening to loud music I could still here a few bikes while riding, though it was usually those riders using the skinny, trashy and classically cool drag pipes ala Cycle Shack or the like.  Now granted I was kind of looking for motorcycles but I absolutely believe that loud pipes give you more presence. Certainly more than reflective piping on your jacket or an orange t-shirt would. 

(Cycle Shacks are a true American classic but have had some people seeing red for decades.)

So do loud pipes really save lives?  In my opinion there is no doubt, but they are still no substitute for skill and attentiveness while riding.  Cagers will still find ways to distract themselves and not everyone registers the resounding exhaust note of a v-twin with “there’s a motorcycle in my vicinity”.  In my riding years I’ve noticed men tend to note the sound of a motorcycle by looking more often than women do and that the most menacing thing on the road is an SUV driving soccer mom on the cell phone.  Trust me, you could strap a foghorn to your butt and set yourself on fire and she will still not hear or see you and she’s always out there.

Now you might already be aware of this but not everyone shares my opinion.  For example the AMA “ The [AMA] believes that few other factors contribute more to misunderstanding and prejudice against the motorcycling community than excessively noisy motorcycles".  Additionally there are writers, motorcycle journalists and other enthusiasts who believe that overly loud motorcycles raise enough public ire as to result in laws that infringe on their respective rights.  Then of course there are the “scientific” studies that look at statistics where cruisers are involved in accidents and conclude that there is no demonstrable evidence suggesting that loud pipes do/have saved lives.  Of course they discount the fact that Harleys do not have the cornering, handling, braking, acceleration or generally eye catching color schemes that our sport bike counterparts have, yet we still are on the lower side of the accident bell curve.  It also discounts the fact that (sadly) some Harley owners are older, started riding much later in life, may be less experienced seasonal riders and may wear less safety gear than your average sport bike rider (but I don't think anyone has actually studied that).  Lastly, not every cruiser style bike is loud, in fact I’d say the majority including stock HD pipes are not loud by any stretch of the imagination (think Kawasaki Vulcan VN750 for example).  

For an example of a countering viewpoint there are people like this guy: http://www.virginiawind.com/byways/loud_pipes_save_lives.asp  At one point he reasons that cars cannot hear you when it matters because your pipes are not facing forward.  It’s worth noting this guy rides a touring BMW bike and does not ride what I would consider to be a “loud” bike, probably even calls himself a “motorcycle enthusiast” and who knows...may never have actually tried a loud bike but I digress.  Without getting too much into how sound waves work, let’s just put it like this, can you hear a bass guitar being played even if you’re not standing directly in front of the speaker?  Can you hear a trumpet, even if not standing directly in front of it? Can you hear a gun go off, even if it’s not pointed at you?  Can you hear a drag racer start up, even if you’re not standing directly behind or to the side of it?  Can you hear someone yelling even if they’re not facing you? Can you hear a motorcycle coming your way, even if you’re not immediately behind them? Alright, at some point you’ve got to use some common sense. 

(Do you think you'd hear this guy coming even if not directly in front of his pipes?)

Now I understand the sense against pissing off the general public, even though I think if all bikers were to do their part politically this would be a nonstarter as concerns go.  I also understand how some motorcyclists might feel that my actions may reflect poorly on them (not that I give a rat’s derriere, especially if they are not part of a politically involved organization to protect their rights) but what I cannot understand are some of these studies performed that attempt to get people to ignore their own experience and observations.  I cannot believe that my story is entirely unique, that others have not noticed the phenomenon that I notice.  I can believe however that there are some out there, who have never tried anything other than what they “know” believing whatever they’re told (after all, how do you think Obama got elected).  So even though it’s a controversial topic and my position may not agree with everyone else out there, loud pipes, whether politically correct or not, legal or not, polite or not, definitely save lives.   

Ape Hangers: How to combat the "flying squirrel" effect

Nothing says “badass” like riding with fists in the wind using ape hangers on an American made motorcycle, but like most things that look “cool” the function is definitely less than the form.  Don’t get me wrong, I love apes, they allow me to sit in exactly the position that I want to on my bike with my back straight and at a standstill they tend to be very comfortable.  However once I hit about 70mph into a headwind things can get interesting, my jacket or cut can act like a parachute, I may begin to lose feeling in my hands, I may feel like a weight is being pressed onto my chest and I just might start to wonder “is this really worth it?”   The culprit standing between me and the coolness that abides within the apes?  Wind, baby…and lots of it.  Imagine standing in a 80 or 90mph (speed limit plus a 10-20mph breeze) hour wind gust with your arms raised equal to or above your shoulders and you get the idea, for a few minutes it’s not too bad but after a couple of hours it can be really fatiguing.  The truth is apes can be very comfortable, even more so than the drag bars, beach bars or quazi-buckhorn styles that seem to come stock on most bike makes and models, but you have figure out a way to deal with the wind.

So how do we combat this monster?  Some people turn to the windshield, that humble piece of plastic that separates you from the breeze and yet somehow steals some of that “cool” the apes exude.  Oh sure windshields are effective and even look really good on some bikes, but to my taste when combined with tall apes they almost look like the motorcycle equivalent of socks with sandals, where you can have one or the other on but both together appear odd.  Obviously I’m not the only one who feels this way as there are literally hundreds of different makes and models of removable windshield kits for sale out there.  Windshields can come in all shapes, styles, sizes.  Everything from a flyscreen or bikini fairing to a full blow fairing sized windshield can be had and on some bikes, with some bars the look might work, but for the stripped down “minimalist bad boy” look, the windshield has to go.

This brings me to option number 2, a properly fitted pair of ape hangers.  Fact, not all men are created equal when it comes to height, arm length, chest size, etc.  Some of us need wide grip, 18 inch bars to be comfortable.  Others may require 12 inch narrow mini apes to be comfortable, but one thing is certain, the bars have to be fitted to the individual rider.  I had to go through a somewhat expensive learning process to figure this one out.  When I first bought my Softail it had 20 inch apes on it from the previous owner.  Without going into detail let’s just say I was in way over my head, literally.  I downsized to 16 inch apes and though WAY better, my hands were still going numb, I was still squirming in the saddle trying to hang on and I was still worn out after a ride of more than a half hour anywhere.  I had to downsize again to 14 inch ape hangers which was almost perfect but still needed a little more to take the edge off of the wind but I couldn’t go to 12 inch apes without re-cabling my bike which can be expensive.  Here are some tips I learned:

·        Be honest with yourself.  If you aren’t 6 foot tall with lengthy arms then don’t get the apes meant for the “big guys”.  You have to get what works for you, even if that means something shorter than the bike next to yours.

·        Try to get apes that keep your fists either at or just slightly below your shoulders if you plan on lengthy rides without a windshield.  Some people may prefer higher and that’s fine, but I found if you go higher than your shoulders discomfort and fatigue can begin to play into a ride after a short amount of time.

·        Width makes a difference.  Narrow apes will narrow your profile in the wind and result in less of a parachute effect.  Go for a narrow width if that is equally comfortable to you.

·        Grips are critical.  Granted I have chrome, smoothed out grips that require a death grip on my bars but I will soon be replacing them with something that will hold more friction with my leather gloves in order to keep from having to shift my hands every 30 seconds.

·        For a rough fitting take a coat hanger and mock up a set of handle bars.  Bend it every which way and find the length and width most comfortable to you but remember…what is comfortable while sitting in your garage may be very different from what is comfortable rolling into a 20mph headwind at 70mph.  Be conservative; if you think 16 inches is borderline sitting still try to see if you can live with 14 or maybe even 12.

For me, since the ’14 apes more or less “fit” I knew I needed something more to take the edge off the wind, which brings me to option number 3…positioning, in other words roll those suckers forward.  One of the best ways I have found to combat the wind is to lean into it.  I roll my apes forward and lean into my ride.  This keeps my back straight and prevents that fatiguing backwards push onto my chest.  This may not be the ideal riding position for everyone as it is an aggressive stance but it works for me.  Just a few inches can make a huge difference and if you wear a full face helmet with vents on top, has the added benefit of directing airflow where you need it, on top of your head instead of your chin.

Lastly there is the supplemental air blocking device…or what I like to call the “bedroll”.  Yes I said a “bedroll” but technically it can be a day bag, bug out bag, a coat strapped to your bars, or even a plain old saddle blanket, anything that will roll up tight from about 9 inches to 14 inches in height, that is at least the width of your chest and that can mount tightly and securely to your bars.  If you take a look at my bike you’ll see a custom leather harness with a Mexican blanket strapped to my bars.  When the wind gets tough the blanket seems to divert it up and over or below cutting down on the pressure to my chest and mid section by probably just under half.  Given that this entire rig cost me about $35 compared to a windshield of hundreds of dollars, and given that it (to me) looks cool enough to leave on the bike even when just bar hopping, it’s a clear winner.  It has the additional benefit of holding tools or other items I can roll into it or in the rare even that I actually need a blanket for whatever reason, I have one.  With properly fitted bars and a strategically placed blanket, bedroll, etcetera, you can have that fist in the wind “badass” look without suffering from the infamous “flying squirrel” effect. 

(note the blanket roll)

If you have any experience with apes and would like to share any tips or tricks that might work for someone else, please leave a comment and I promise I will publish them below.

Bikers vs. RUBs: Tips for the press on how to know the difference

(RUBs...God love 'em.  They keep us in good supply of used, low mileage Harleys)

Recently I discovered that Harley Davidson is being sued by what a newspaper called 4 “bikers” because Harley Davidson’s air cooled engine burned their tender, little legs.  The lawsuit claims that HD manufactures “unsafe” motorcycles that run “too hot” when compared to liquid cooled bikes.  My personal disgust for these “bikers” aside I thought I would point out to the news paper that not everyone who owns a motorcycle is a “biker” just like not everyone who cooks is a “chef”.  So to help them get this straight in the future I made a little cheat sheet to clue them in on the difference between a “biker” and a “rich urban biker” or “RUB” as real bikers are so fond of calling  them.

Bikers = think nothing of putting 10,000-20,000 or more miles on a motorcycle within a year.

RUBs = think nothing of spending $20,000-$40,000 on a motorcycle then putting 100 miles on it a year…maybe.

Bikers = tend to ride their bikes to different events.

RUBs = tend to tow their bikes to different events.

Bikers = see worth measured in foot pounds of torque and horsepower.

RUBs = see worth in winning plastic trophies.

Bikers = clean their leathers the way God intended, by riding in the rain.

RUBs= don’t clean leathers; they buy squeaky new ones…every season…preferably from the dealership.

Bikers = knows what a bug tastes like at 60mph.

RUBs = are generally scared of bugs and think they’re “yucky”.

Bikers = love a vintage HD motors and thinks knuckles, shovels and pans are sexy.

RUBs = love shiny paint jobs, tassels, and whatever else you can bolt on from the factory.

Bikers = love to ride.

RUBs = love to park and show off.

Bikers = will be 100 miles down the road before the RUB finishes sponging the dirt out of his spokes.

Bikers = own tools.

RUBs = have 800 numbers to call for roadside assistance.

Bikers = will “settle it” if they have a problem with someone.

RUBs = will call their lawyer to get a “settlement”.

Bikers = know that a gray beards are earned and to be respected.

RUBs = stain their beards pretending to be 20 years dumber (assuming you ever see a RUB with a beard).

Bikers = see a gray beard with a limp and chalk it up to “toughness” “commitment” and “experience”.

RUBs = see an old man with a handicap.

Bikers = know, show and expect respect.

RUBs = think respect is something you get from the logo on the side of your gas tank.

Bikers = have brothers and sisters.

RUBs = call people “bro”.

Bikers = know they’re bikers for better or worse.

RUBs = wonder what RUB means…wonder if they are a RUB…wonder if maybe they are bikers.

Bikers = see a parking lot full of motorcycles and want to go in and see what’s going on.

RUBs = see a parking lot full of motorcycles and worry that the corresponding building might be full of villains, ne’er do wells and bad guys unless of course it’s a dealership party. 

Bikers = earn patches.

RUBs = buy patches.

Bikers = understand motorcycles have hot pipes, hot engines and can be dangerous.

RUBs = sue a manufacturer because they burned their drumsticks while riding a motorcycle wearing only shorts and flip flops. 

Bikers = understand the beauty of simplicity.

RUBs = can’t wait to see ABS brakes, GPS systems, air bags, air conditioning, surround sound and if possible, a reverse and/or automatic transmission on a motorcycle.

A Harley Davidson Dyna for Touring? I think it would work…

A couple of months ago I was looking for a new bike that I could both commute on and take on long distance rides.  The bike had to get good gas mileage, have a good reputation for reliability, solid aftermarket support, a nice suspension, decent power and of course it had to look good.  At first I had an idea of what I wanted and the bikes that made the short list were a Honda Valkyrie, a Kawasaki Drifter 1500, a Harley Davidson Fatboy and finally a Harley Davidson Dyna.  After some initial research I eliminated the following bikes:

Kawasaki Drifter 1500, though a nice bike by any measure aftermarket support was lacking and when it comes to working on metric engines (all bikes need work especially when ridden hard) I thought that it might not be the best investment for me.  After all in 10 years who knows if it will be worth anything.

Second up was the Harley Davidson Fatboy.  This bike had style and comfort but there were two things working against it.  First was the Softail suspension.  Despite the “Softail” moniker this type of internal suspension is not nearly as forgiving as the external dual shock configuration of the Sportster, Dyna and Touring models (depending upon the shocks and setup of course).  A note, almost all stock Harley shocks suck but Harleys have excellent aftermarket options.  The second factor working against the Fatboy was the frame mounted engine.  Granted a big twin that is counterbalanced does not exactly vibrate like a Dyna would when at a stop, but once on the road that vibration could easily translate into the handlebars and ultimately the grips.  This leads to numb hands down the road and the greater the speed, the more intense the vibration.  Some people may disagree or not notice this phenomenon but after owning a softail already, I can tell you there’s more truth to it than not.  The Fatboy was out.

Third up was the Honda Valkyrie.  I got to ride a couple of different specimens and let me tell you, they had power to spare.  They were smooth, surprisingly nimble, incredibly powerful and notoriously reliable.  They have decent aftermarket support when compared to say a Kawasaki Drifter, hold their value well just like the Harley Davidsons and given that they have not been made in several years and have a loyal cult following.  I suspect that well cared for Valkyries will still draw top dollar in the used market later down the road.  The things that worked against the Valkyrie were the total cost of ownership and gas mileage.  One of the contributing factors to the legendary power on a Valkyrie are 6 individual carburetors, one for each cylinder.  That means 6 carburetors to service, keep clean and synch every 10,000 miles.  This synching can be $300-$400+ per interval.  Add to this the Valkyrie eats rear tires and gets downright horrid gas mileage and it’s a no brainer, keep looking. The Valkyrie would make an incredible hotrod, but they are not the best touring bikes despite their Goldwing origins. 

Lastly was the Harley Dyna.  I’m kind of a stickler about Harley Dynas.  I love the Street Bob and most of the Dyna series with a full rear fender or even the new style "bobber" chopped fender. What I don’t like are the narrow glide or mid glide front ends.  So I looked at the Wide Glides and love the front end and 21 inch front wheel, but that fat bob "bobbed" fender (not to be confused with a chopped bobber fender) on the rear looked…well, it’s just not my style.  After some consideration I figured I could change a rear fender easier than a front end and decided to look for a suitable Wide Glide. 

Another thing that was important to me was to find a 1998 Dyna because I wanted the Evo motor.  Why?  Well…first the Evo is the longest running Harley Davidson motor made, second is a fanatical and healthy aftermarket and third is that the Evo is the only engine designed with reliability being the #1 priority, it was the engine that saved the reputation of Harley Davidson after the infamous AMF years.  I know what some of you might be thinking right now, Dynas shake like crazy when started.  This is true, it’s an unbalanced big twin but it’s rubber mounted to the frame and surprisingly the engine really smoothes out under acceleration.  Add the rubber mounted engine to a dual external shock system and you’ve got a pretty smooth bike at cruising speed.  Lastly the Harley will hold its value after a given point of depreciation and who knows, maybe one day increase in value. 

So I began my search for a 1998 Dyna Wide Glide.  I found one in perfect show room condition with only 8,000 miles on it.  Now for those of you good at math it was readily apparent that this bike did not get ridden much which is not necessarily a good thing.  Leave a bike sitting long enough and the gaskets and whatnots (a technical term) start going bad and before long it’s leaking.  Add to that gummed up carburetor and…well you get the idea.  Either way I checked it over thoroughly and made the guy an offer.  Long story short the guy hemmed and hawed and played games until I just walked on the deal.  I kept looking and found something unique, a 1998 Dyna Convertible with a Wide Glide conversion.  That means the bike is lowered to the ground, had every piece of chrome Harley Davidson offers, a Wide Glide front end and the classic full fender.  The bike was gorgeous even though I’m not really big into chrome.  The bike wasn’t perfect though; the previous owner added some Stabil fuel additive and let the thing sit for a year.  He replaced the battery after the old one died but the carburetor was gummed up even though the bike had 21K miles on it.  Everything else looked good though so I bought it.  After some adventures in carburetor rebuilding I now have a smooth running Dyna.  Given that I paid $5,800 for the Dyna and about $50 in rebuilding it I’d say I did okay.  More about the carburetor rebuild in a later post…