OWS, Right or Wrong?

Okay so it’s been a while since I’ve blogged.  Hey, October is the busiest month of the year for me and time is very limited…so shoot me.  Anyhow there has been a lot happen since my last blog such as the Penn State University scandal, a high profile torture and murder trial, a couple of elections, Congressmen and women getting busted for insider trading (which ironically is not illegal for them) and I saw a funny video of a dog with peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth.  All of these are worthy topics to blog on and generally I try to blog on stuff that inspires me to write which most of the time involves motorcycles, guns, education, etc.  But recently we have had a lot of press around the Occupy Wall Street movement, the 99% (whatever that is) versus the 1% (whatever that is), corporate greed, perceived economic inequality, etc. 

Now before I get too deep into this please understand, I sympathize with the OWS group on several fronts.  First, they are correct to be outraged and afraid, our elected leaders have indebted the next 3 generations of Americans to such an extent that for the first time in American history, the Baby Boomer generation will actually have a higher average standard of living than their children will.  That’s right, the greed and corruption of the Baby Boomer generation has saddled Generation X, Y and whatever is after that with unprecedented debt and little to show for it.  This will and has adversely affected the economy to where people are not retiring out naturally, wages are depressed, jobs are more scarce, etc.  Generation X’ers are thus forced into lower status and pay professionally than their Baby Boomer counterparts had at a similar age, and Generation Y who is just emerging in the workplace are stuck with jobs below their talents and abilities with little opportunity for advancement into the near future.

Second I believe the OWS group has a right to protest on public land for as long as they like.  It is a dangerous precedent to set in allowing the police or politicians to determine when and for how long a protest is suitable.  Protests by nature are contentious and will make the power elite nervous (or should) as it is a form of civil unrest.  The police need to realize they work “for the people” not for the politicians.  That said the OWS crowd have done themselves a grave injustice in not policing the actions of those within their own camps and thus have lost a lot of sympathy from the general American public.

One thing the OWS protest did bring to light is (in my opinion):

·        A general sense of entitlement

·        Unrealistic expectations of the marketplace

·        A gross misunderstanding of basic economic principles (especially capitalism vs socialism)

·        That civil unrest is apparent on the Left as well as the Right and Americans in general are very unhappy, to the extent that Washington had better pay attention soon

So on the first point, my generation (X or Y depending upon who you ask) has demonstrated a general sense of entitlement.  It’s fairly easy to see why, we’ve been raised in a culture where people commonly demand their “rights” in highly public ways, from celebrities to celebrated criminals to the average disgruntled worker, everyone is screaming for their “rights” and have been doing so since the early 1990’s.  The problem is most of these people believe their “rights” are whatever they say they are.  They confuse “rights” with “wants” or even “needs”.  Our generation has not only been surrounded by this publicly, but have grown up in a world of Social Security, pensions, Medicare, Medicade, full unemployment benefits, disability claims, lawsuits galore, health care on demand, unions and of course mass marketing aimed at equating materialism with those “deserving of success”.  We are thus a byproduct of our upbringing which by in large has been self centered, self serving and of course ever demanding of “what can you do for me now”.  We view employment as a “right”.  We view benefits and pay equal to that of our parents as our just “entitlements” and we are unwilling to step down in the lifestyle we have been living to (provided by our parents generally) to something less than what we are accustomed.  “Paying dues” or “working your way up” mean virtually nothing to most of us and for good reason, because employee loyalty, hard work and dedication are no longer rewarded as reliably in the workplace as historically so.  Work hard, start at the bottom, give a job everything you’ve got and they’ll outsource you without a second thought.  On the flip side this has lead to…

Unrealistic expectations of the marketplace.  Look, if you’re in your mid to late twenties to your mid thirties, let me tell you something your parents and obviously your high school and college counselors won’t tell you, the job market demands skills that employers can leverage to make them (the employer) money.  In other words if you have a degree in Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Theatre, don’t expect to jump into the workplace and make $75,000 a year.  That is  unless someone has figured out how to make far, far more money by hiring you and using your skills to further their own, personal wealth.  What’s that you ask?  They are going to make money off of you?  Oh yeah, bet on it, that’s how the world works.  Jobs are not given because you are entitled, neither are they given out of generosity.  Employment is nothing more than cold, calculated business.  It does not take into account your feelings, your worth as a human, your individuality or how popular you might be on Facebook.  Employment is about money and only money, that’s why they call the bottom line (read $$$) the “bottom line”.

Which brings me to point 3…a gross misunderstanding of basic economic principles.  Part of the problem here is because general economics has largely been co-opted by sociology types and not business types (not always but frequently).  Unfortunately this is usually because the brightest sociology majors “teach” while the brightest business majors go out into the marketplace and “produce”.  Either way this allows for a lot of theories on human behavior, some math thrown in, a little bit of research, a lot of assumptions and a dab or two of pure voodoo.  The truth is Adam Smith basically had things right from the beginning and that is we can always count on  2 things, first that people by and large are greedy and self serving and 2 that an economic system designed to equate productivity (defined as meeting a demand) to greed will result in an economic engine that will be perpetually run on an inexhaustible fuel supply…effort driven by greed (or need).  This system is known as capitalism as it allows individuals to determine how to meet their own needs (and greed, wants, desires, etc.) by producing something that someone else will exchange their own wealth, services or resources for.  The beauty of Smith’s original model is that it takes into account that resources are finite but that greed is infinite, thus innovation will naturally evolve as people find newer and better ways to fulfill their wants.  Note that I am defining greed as the desire for anything beyond the bare necessities of food and shelter which, thank God, our ancestors have struggled for generations to satisfy and we are reaping the benefits.  This brings me to the counterpoint of point 3, socialism.

Socialism in a nutshell is a controlled economy.  This model basically believes that people are so inherently greedy as to be self destructive to the detriment of the whole and thus the means of wealth and production should be controlled by a centralized, select “few”.  Now the ironic thing about socialism is that by and large it discounts the possibility that a select few could be corrupted in a way as to cause massive social and economic inequality or otherwise be detrimental to the whole.  If you believe that I have a snow cone stand in the Arctic I’d like to sell you.  The other tenet of socialism is the distribution of resources, services and wealth to those who do not necessarily produce or innovate to satisfy their own greed (wants, needs, desires, etc.).  The really damaging part is that this discourages innovation, growth, effort, etc. and cripples that economic engine that Adam Smith imagined by starving it of fuel (that is individual effort). Now there are extremes in socialism (like Cuba) and there is moderate socialism (like Greece).  Some can be somewhat sustainable though not optimal like England and others are a complete humanitarian disaster like post World War 2 China. 

The United States has historically been capitalist, trending towards socialist measures in what we call “modified capitalism” or some such like term.  To an extent, much of our socialist measure are driven by something that is almost unique to U.S. culture, that is empathy.  We don’t like to see children living on sidewalks begging, we don’t want to see elderly people and the sick turned away from hospitals.  We don’t like seeing the crippled or impaired left behind because of their disabilities and so we put measures in place to help these people and it is not wrong to do so.  In cold hearted, calculating business sense this is less than optimal, but can be done. 

Let’s give an illustration.  Suppose you have a supercharged, V8, 400 horsepower 1970’s hot rod.  We’re talking roaring exhaust, hood scoops, chassis twisting, torque here.  Just raw power…this represents economic potential.  Now you are planning on running this vehicle on gas (labor, innovation, effort) and resources (oxygen, spark).  A pure capitalist society would be this vehicle topped off with a full tank, wide open air ports, good spark plugs and just raring to go.  Granted the byproduct of this would be massive exhaust and noise but all the power in the world to go forward would be present.  If you begin to add entitlements (free healthcare, pensions, etc.) you begin to starve the vehicle of resources (air and spark), if you begin to add wealth distribution you begin to starve the vehicle of fuel to burn (effort, innovation, labor).  Do enough of either and you stall the car out completely and regardless of potential, what you have left is a gigantic paperweight.  A little of one or the other or even both and the vehicle may still run, it may in fact still be absolutely powerful, the trick is to find the balance.  How do you do the humane, empathetic thing but without stifling resources or fuel?

Of course no discussion on economics in America would be complete without mentioning Keynes.  Basically he believed the government should act to prevent economic destructions (recession and depression) through policy.  The problem is the government has taken what is originally narrow in scope and abused it to such an extent that some question if we will ever recover.  Would Smith agree with Keynes?  Who knows...

Back on topic, the basic premise of capitalism is that people do not go to work and bust their humps out of the goodness of their hearts, they do it for money.  Now granted, you may love your job, you may even feel it is a calling, but at the point the lights get turned off and there’s no bread on the table, labors of love go out the window and need becomes the ultimate driving force.  If my employer were to stop paying me or even to pay me half (for example), I’d quit my job and look elsewhere without a second thought, despite how much I love what I do.  I get up and go to work for money, not mirth, not good will, not for the heck of it. I am driven to work harder and to gain more skills by the possibility of more money, not because I want to be superman.  I understand that I am paid for what I can bring to the table in terms of potential to earn not just for myself, but for someone else as well.  It’s just business.

Which brings me to the final point, our elected leaders and their failures.  For generations now Americans have labored for the promise of a better tomorrow.  We have been taught to embrace liberty and freedom, that capitalism is good, communism is bad.  That we have individual liberties guaranteed to us by the Constitution and that we are responsible for our own happiness.  Recently however we espouse capitalism and borrow money from communists, we talk about civil liberties yet our own police forces are turned against us, we have attorney generals who refer to veterans as potential terroristic threats, we’re told we’re “free” just as long as we not get in the way of our elected leaders.  We’re forced to pay for legislation we not only don’t want but that we yell and scream at our officials for at town hall meetings to get them to listen to us yet our “representatives” cram it down our throats anyway.  We are arrested for tax evasion, they aren’t, we would go to jail for insider trading, they won’t, we would do life in prison for they way they run Social Security but they won’t even allow it to be referred to as the Ponzi Scheme it so obviously has become.  They (Congress and Senators) have twisted, distorted and perverted their office to such an extent that most Americans would almost be willing to scrap both houses altogether.  We have been robbed time and again, with privatization of profits and socialization of losses.  We have been saddled with unwanted debt that we cannot sustain.  We have been depleted of our motivation, our pride and our will to innovate and work.  They lie and lie and lie again and wonder why we have no faith in them.  Lastly, they too seem to lack basic economic understanding which bodes poorly for our country in the future. 

For example, look no further than the current Presidential debates.  Obama is trying to “create jobs”.  The GOP is promising to “create jobs” but what nobody is saying is that the government itself is utterly incapable of producing one single cent of wealth.  Why?  Because government taxes from producers to sustain, theoretically had they not removed those resources from that producer that producer would have the means to hire more labor (increase effort/fuel) to further their own wealth.  In other words they (the government) stifle fuel and resources to our economic engine (potential) and nothing more.  The government produces no more “new” jobs than the crud that gets caught in your fuel filter produces horsepower.  They have the ability to dramatically retard economic growth but are very, very limited in their ability to encourage it (some would argue not at all).  The government needs to get out of our way, loosen restrictions, loosen financial constraints and let this engine do what it naturally wants to do, which is move forward.

Watch the President say "we can't wait to create jobs".  

The OWS movement is right to be afraid and angry, but their efforts are misdirected.  They should be occupying Washington D.C., as should we all.    



Playing with a Photo Editor

Recently I've been playing around with Picnik, Google's online photo editor...lots of fun to be had.  So here are a couple of half assed motivational posters featuring my Dyna and Softail, hey at least it was fun making them.

Tactical Tommy Guards the Jail

So there I was working the night shift at the Moose Ass County Jail with just two other jailers, both “female”. One of the inmates that night decided he needed to go to the bathroom at the end of the hall at 2AM. I knew that nobody went to the bathroom at 2AM and the fact that this inmate in particular was a 72 year old KNOWN traffic offender only heightened my awareness to his being “System Savvy”.

So I go to the gear room and suit up in my riot gear because I know that having 2 female backup Officers only creates a liability. Once geared up, I stuffed one of our new tasers in the front of my pants in case things get out of control and I have to put him down hard. I grab my capture shield and baton and proceed to the cell.

I hold the baton under my left arm with the capture shield “SHOCK” plate pointed away from my body so as not to inadvertently zap myself. I took the initiative to zip tie the trigger on the handle in case I have to get it into action quickly and don’t have time to get my arm through BOTH of the grips. Experience count’s here.

I carefully unlock the cell door and slide it to the side. As I tried to get the key out, this crafty codger had rigged the hole to hold the key in the lock. I bent down to remove the key and struck the top of my helmet against the bars which knocked me back flat onto my butt. So as not to be caught at a disadvantage, I immediately grabbed my baton and rolled to my left, unfortunately right on top of the capture plate, but I knew that I could use this to my advantage, so while I lay convulsing on top of the shield I began to plan my next move.

Once the battery had run dry I jumped to my feet and tried to swing the riot baton at my assailant. He deftly evaded my blow by standing right in front of me behind the bars. This caused me to shatter the baton, and lose feeling in my hands. I was prepared for such a maneuver and instantly went to my tear gas grenade. I pulled the pin and let loose with the spoon, flinging the grenade at the bars of his cell, the inmate then let the bars of the cell deflect the grenade right back at me and it fell down the front of my riot vest. Being the hardened professional that I am, my instincts kicked into level RED. I immediately “stopped, dropped and rolled” to put the flames on my riot gear out.

I knew at this point, that I was dealing with no mere criminal but instead a criminal master mind of tactical maneuvering.

The inmate feigned laughter as I screamed rolling on the ground while tear gas filled my suit and helmet causing snot and tears to flow freely. I knew however that he was about to make a fatal mistake. He ran from the effects of the gas yelling “HELP” towards the front of the jail, but I knew that he was in reality attempting escape. It was go time.

I reached for the taser, but since my hands were numbed from the baton, and my vision was obscured from the result of the tear gas, I accidentally discharged the taser down the front of my pants. The urine left over from the capture shield incident conducted the electricity and grounded, causing me to let out a tactical shriek, which shattered windows for the entire cell block causing a hazardous situation to the escaping inmate due to broken glass. This had worked to my advantage.

I recovered from the initial shock and low crawled my way towards the inmate trying to ignore the effects of the ever pouring teargas and the electrical prongs that were now hooked into my privates. I could not allow myself to be defeated; I must not allow myself to be defeated. I had no feeling in my legs at this point.

As I crawled I tried to remember my training. I crawled over the glass into the cell the inmate had left. I snapped the key off in the lock and pulled the door shut behind me. I then removed the gas grenade from the front of my vest, ignoring the 3rd degree burns on my chest and hands, nothing a simple skin graft couldn’t fix.

I then used a sheet to cover myself under the bed in a tactical withdraw until backup could arrive.

The 5 Top Motorcycle Movies in Hollywood History

There’s no denying it, the biker culture and motorcycling in general has been culturally impacted by the movie industry significantly.  Nothing portrays the bad boy image or a dangerous “living on the edge” hero type like an American or British made two wheeled machine on the big screen.  While the recent top motorcycle show Sons of Anarchy is technically a motorcycle show, if one were to simply watch it for any period of time they’d be left with the impression that Harley Davidson only makes bikes in flat black with T-bars and a fairing but this may be one of the few times where Hollywood is more conservative than reality.  So let’s look at 5 more “colorful” biker movies that either captured or changed or otherwise impacted the world of motorcycling as we know it.  The following appear in no particular order. 

The Wild One

Marlin Brando astride a Triumph motorcycle in the iconic “bad boy” pose.  This is the movie that fired off an entire genre of films and equated the motorcycle s with outlaws once and forever more.

Brando's personal 1952 Triumph Thunderbird was featured in the film.

Easy Rider

Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper and even Jack Nicholson bring the custom chopper to the big screen and the Captain America motorcycle goes down in the history books as being one of the most easily identified motorcycles of all time.  Peace, love and torque ya’ll.

The "Captain America" bike was a custom, rigid framed Panhead custom made by Cliff Vaughs and Ben Hardy.  There were 4 originals made and one was destroyed at the end of the film.

Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

This was a tough one because honestly, though the movie was amusing it certainly wasn’t what I would call “iconic” on the level that the Wild One and Easy Rider were, but what it did do was put the Harley Davidson FXR on the map inspiring those of us who ride FXR and Dynas from that point on.  “Black Death” the bike in the movie cut a lean, low, unmistakable profile that even a pre-plastic surgery Mickey Rourke couldn’t ruin.  And who could forget the shooting of the “rice burner” outside of a seedy bar on the part of Don Johnson…and lest we forget the manly combination cowboy hats, snakeskin boots, single action big bore revolvers and of course a Bon Jovi infused soundtrack all in one place making the imagery at least somewhat important.    

Mickey rode a strutted FXR with obvious customization to include a dramatic rake with a 70.5 inch wheelbase. 

Terminator 2

This was another tough one, but the popularity of the movie in its day brought the Harley Davidson Fatboy to the forefront of a “man’s” bike.  Besides, how many people today would be able to get away with wearing leather pants while keeping a straight face if Arnold didn’t introduce the concept to the big screen first?  Don’t laugh, the next guy you see doing it may in fact be a homicidal robot with a soft spot for kids named John Conner. 

The Governator sat astride a 1990 Harley Davidson Fatboy complete with lever action shotgun.

Beyond the Law

The custom Softail featured in this movie brought the idea of actually building your ride (versus stealing it or buying it) onto the big screen.  Charlie Sheen remained sober enough to actually pull off a burnt out, overstressed cop somewhat convincingly and Leon Rippy (who?) did a stellar performance of a biker with a screw loose (much like the people I know in real life).  Add to this tat they brought the outlaw, 3 piece patch holding motorcycle club made it back to the big screen and even had a dude named Oatmeal in it…what more could you ask? 

A Harley Davidson Softail that saw some customization, I wonder where Charlie kept his stash on that thing?

Honorable mentions go to:

Wild Hogs

Though this movie was of course over the top fiction borderline satire it is probably the only movie to ever make it on the big screen that captures the essence of the “Rich Urban Biker” or RUB.  As such this movie goes from silly to relevant its uniqueness on this topic alone.

CHiPs

Okay so it was a television show and not a movie, the popularity of the show during its day combined with close camera work of the bikes in action put the California Highway Patrol in the daydreams of kids all across America.  Back then the only thing cooler than a badge and a gun would be doing it on a motorcycle. 

Hell Ride

You would think that the combination of Quentin Tarrentino and a variety of bobbers and choppers combined with a cast consisting of the legendary Dennis Hopper, Tom Sizemore and David Carradine would have been a slam dunk win.  But the crappy acting, worse writing and over the top violence with seemingly no point doomed the movie into the discount bins of the big box stores where they sit, lurking patiently for some poor sucker to waste $5.00 buying the DVD, but cool bikes nonetheless. 

Happy Days

The Fonz is definitely the 1960s and 1970s television tough guy.  There’s no denying his image will forever be emblazoned upon American pop culture even if by no other means than if as a punch line ala “jumping the shark” which is the catchphrase for “taking a good thing too far”.  Henry Winkler will always look more natural in a leather jacket with a thumbs up than he ever will wearing khakis and a light jacket.  And yeah I know…it’s a television show and not a movie.  The honorable mention is because the Fonz did not limit himself to just one bike but a seeming collection of bike s all cool because…well… “hey”… (my best Fonzie voice with thumbs up). 

The Great Escape

You have a Triumph Motorcycle with Steve McQueen riding it.  ‘nuff said…seriously.

Captain America

Although a new movie there’s something that just strikes a resounding chord in me when I see a vintage Harley Davidson in olive drab green…especially ones that can hold a Tommy Gun.

The Wild Angels

Another Peter Fonda film but this time with a trash plot, garbage acting, bland camera work and just an old feel to it.  It’s neither good nor timeless but Peter Fonda sure did ride one super nice bike in it. 

Tactical Tommy Guards the Mall

So there I was, pinning on my mall security badge. I knew that at that moment, I had reached the pinnacle of my calling, to "protect and serve" or as my company motto says, to "evade and report". I had just received my official state security commission which allowed me to be armed; I was now part of the ELITE of mall security. As I holstered “Excaliber”, my Stainless Glock 21 in .45 ACP I took a moment to appreciate the gold filigree inlay that had been expertly applied by a blind Austrian jeweler whose life had been devoted to bringing Glock to the forefront of functional art.  With this weapon upon my hip I knew that if it got hairy out there I would be ready. I placed my Benchmade tactical automatic knife which had been honed to a razors edge by Honduran Bushmen into my pocket where I knew it would be ready at a moments notice.

I mounted my 2 wheeled Segway which had the full “police package”, lights, siren, performance brakes and suspension and of course I secretly removed the “governor” so that I could get that extra kick of horsepower when I really needed it.  This thing was two wheels of silent rolling retribution. As I cruised my beat that afternoon I received a radio dispatch of possible loitering in the food court. I quickly stepped into the Men's room and press checked my .45 Glock 21 ensuring it was stoked with 10 uranium depleted Hornady Tactical Elephant Dissolvers with one extra round in the chamber "just in case".

I then responded to the scene of the crime just in time to witness at least 3 fourteen year old male suspects. I placed my hand on my gun and returned the biggest teens menacing glare. As I approached the ringleader, I noticed a movement, out of the corner of my eye. My advanced security training immediately screamed "AMBUSH". My 2 hours of video instruction kicked in like a well oiled machine.

I whipped my ASP baton out just as I began to spin and meet the threat but the clever teenagers had strategically placed a spilled coke underneath my feet, so I lost my footing and landed flat on my back, my level three armored plate absorbing most of the impact. I was prepared for such an attack however, and even though my baton went flying 15 feet away and the wind was knocked out of me, my warrior instincts had polished me into an unflinching justice machine and I recovered quickly using my inhaler only twice. I quickly rolled to my right getting to my knees and dove for cover in the water fountain. I went for my mace, but the water on my Oakley replica sunglasses obscured my vision so I depressed the cap and shot a burst of mace directly into my own face.  I have been maced before so I knew how to handle it. I ran in a circle screaming so as to confuse the opposition and then threw myself prone into a middle aged woman’s lap who was sitting in a booth. I knew at that moment that she would provide a body shield for any attacks that may occur. As I ordered her to stand in front of me, I reassured her of my abilities by showing her how a true professional can take a knee to the groin…twice.

As I writhed in pain on the ground, it would have appeared to the untrained eye that had lost control of my bladder. But in reality, this is a clever ruse to lure the predator to the trap.  As onlookers approached in curiosity I sprang the trap and leapt to a crouched position running to retrieve my ASP baton. I could see my human shield running away from my position bravely distracting the teenagers from my movements. I then picked my ASP baton up and whipped it into a semi-arc and with all the vengeance I could muster, I knocked my sunglasses right at the leading perp in a display of deft ability and superior training but he was not to be dismayed and held his ground. 

It was time, I had trained for this moment for all my life…well…actually more like 4 hours and a multiple choice test but still, this was the moment I had anticipated with both dread and trepidation.  I dropped my baton and went for the Glock; it was “go” time.  My level 3 retention holster was the best money could buy, made by the same company that built the Fort Knox gold safe combination lock, unfortunately I was distracted and unable to perform the correct sequence of movements necessary to draw my gun from it.  I couldn’t remember the sequence, was it “down, left, right, wiggle the pinky finger” or was it “down, left, right, wiggle the index finger”?  In all the confusion I began losing precious initiative.  I was prepared for just such an occasion however I heaved my weight into the gun butt, intent on ripping it free from the leather.  Unfortunately this process caused my holster to strike the automatic knife in my pocket which then deployed into my thigh. The stabbing pain only heightened my awareness to the dangers I now faced.  Though I did not successfully remove the gun from the holster I did manage to tactically tear my belt loops free from my uniform pants causing them to drop around my ankles.  I was able to kick the pants free and turn the situation to my advantage as I could now move like a mall security cheetah, unencumbered by the restrictive polyester material.  I deftly leapt towards my baton still lying on the ground I snatched it up, wielding it menacingly, like a steely phallic symbol of justice.


Somehow, possibly through the mastery of a rare Bulgarian version of Thai Chi, the perp managed to evade my baton strike in such a manner as to cause me to strike the bridge my own nose with the tip of my baton. I knew at that point I had met my match but I wouldn’t give in, I followed the Sun Tzu strategy of winning using the offering of “no target” by quickly passing out.  Upon my awakening I was in an ambulance, wearing a straight jacket which had been cunningly placed upon me during my tactical nap.   To my deft opponent touché’ whoever you are.

Disclaimer: This story is completely fictitious; any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental and hilarious. 

Obama and Ford Motor Company: Censorship or petty politics?

It would seem that the Ford Motor Company CEO, Alan Mulally received a surprise phone call from the White House “bullying” him (Mulally’s words) into pulling a television advertisement that made the Obama administration look bad.  The commercial is above (for now) for those of you who have not seen it.  Essentially the customer is given a surprise press conference where reporters ask him why he purchased a Ford.  His honest and unrehearsed response was that he wanted to buy an American vehicle from an American manufacturer that did not take government bailout money, who accepted the risk of doing business and during hard times, stepped up to the plate and got it done.  I’m paraphrasing of course but this man is nowhere nearly alone in his sentiment. 

I only wish I could say I had the same level of conviction.  Yes I am positively disgusted with General Motors for the way the union and government strong armed bond and stock holders out of their investment, essentially “stealing” money while reneging on debts.  I’m also disgusted by the transfer ownership of the company to the very same union that caused it so many financial woes in the first place.  GM also of course begged a federal, tax payer backed loan and eventual bailout of billions from the government.  Of course GM later advertised that they paid their government loan money back but they failed to mention the bailout money they used to do it…in short they kept the cash they just changed the label of the bucket it was sitting in.  As for the investors that got bilked, if you think only fat cat Wall Street types lost money in that deal, you might want to take a really close look at your 401K managed investment portfolio prior to the GM bankruptcy, you might be in for a nasty surprise. 

But let’s step back and forget about taxpayer money or the investors and bond holders who were bilked. Forget about the bailout money too, after all Harley Davidson took bailout money and I own two of them.  It’s not the loan that is worrying; it’s not even the bailout that is the thing that keeps me up at night.  A little bit of it might be the way the investors got jacked over…but I’m not even overly concerned about that at the moment.  The concerning thing is the government stepped in, directly from the White House and essentially threatened Ford Motor Company in order to cow them into silence.  This is petty at best, immature and beneath the type of conduct that we should see coming from the highest office of the most powerful nation on earth.  This could also be painted in a darker, more sinister light for those so inclined as this is the type of stuff I heard horror stories about as a kid growing up in Regan’s America during the 1980’s.  You remember?  The good old days where we were warned about Communism, the evils of censorship from the government, the abandonment of individual liberties for collectivist thinking and the thing that always stuck out in my mind were the toilet paper and gasoline shortages that the USSR experienced, but I digress.

This was a grievous error on the part of the White House and I think ultimately it shows just how petty and low this administration is willing to go.  I think this will hurt Obama politically for sure but my biggest hope is that this does not set a precedent indicative of future behavior.  It’s beneath the office. 

Now before anyone gets on my comments section below and starts the knee jerk Bush bashing that seems to occur anytime anyone criticizes this president (which to this day I do not understand) please keep in mind that I understand the Bush administration had its warts too, though I somehow have a hard time picturing direct calls from the White House demanding unflattering advertisements be pulled from the air “or else” so try to keep on topic if you want to leave a comment.  We’re talking about Obama, or the Ford Motor Company, GM or anything relevant within the last 2 or 3 years…and that isn’t Bush so please keep that in mind if you wish to disagree with my post above.   

Sources

Source 1: http://detnews.com/article/20110927/...ad-on-bailouts

Source 2: http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/hannit...big-businesses

Tactical Tommy Goes to the Store

This story is dedicated to my friend and co-author Bill Caughran, 1st Cav. Division, Vietnam

I used to really be into guns, shooting sports and just anything firearm related.  Well after years of listening to “war stories” in gun shops and reading countless gun oriented magazines I began to develop a taste for the ridiculousness of it all.  I really, really began to enjoy listening to them drone on about how a 12 gauge cocking sound will scare bad guys or that women should only carry revolvers because they can’t learn how to properly use an automatic but my favorite stories were from the tinfoil hat wearing types.  You know, the guys who think the government is out to get them, that the world will end at any moment and everyone else is too stupid to realize it.  These guys could always take the most mundane errand and turn it into a survival story, usually recalling their gear in explicit detail and previous “classified” or “top secret” training they had.  At one point everyone was a former Navy SEAL but once that got comically clichéd they started to tell the stories sans Special Forces names (especially since the danged internet made it too easy to debunk them).  Anyhow a veteran of the Vietnam War named Bill Caughran (who was with the 1^st Cav Division)  and I both found their stories to be hilarious while other people just rolled their eyes and would walk away.  Eventually Bill and I sat down and wrote the following fictional story in honor of those gun shop commandos, mall ninjas and general tactical weirdo’s out there that we couldn’t get enough of. 

It’s been years since I’ve written this and it was originally published on a discussion forum, but I’ve decided to republish it here, in honor of my friend Bill whom I have not seen nor heard from in many years.  This one’s for Bill.

(original title) So there I was....what really happens to tactical "tools" in a fight

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As I was leaving my house I stuffed my Glock 10mm "man gun" Mexican style in my pants. My backup is a fully customized 1911 with all the IPSC add on options in my $500.00 leather pancake holster custom made by Belgian Monks who have devoted their lives to silence and holster making. These are the ones used by SEAL Team 6, which I used to be a part of but all records of my activities were destroyed in a fire "accident".

I put on my Royal Robbins photographer vest to match my pants while wearing a T-Shirt underneath reading "from my cold dead hands", that away nobody can see what I'm packing.

I had my Centennial .38 Special in my ankle holster, just like the gun rag guys carry.

Lastly I had my "Covert Sniper" I.D. Card in my wallet with my "Concealed Weapons Permit Badge". I was ready for anything.

I drove my Bug Out Truck to the 7-11 for some beer, cause you never know. It is a performance styled Subaru BRAT with 4 cylinders of ground pounding fury.

As I pull up to the 7-11 store I notice a nefarious looking girl scout eyeballing me from the back of her mother's SUV, a likely cover.

The mother returned to the truck and went for the keys in her purse, but I knew from my years of combat honed instincts that she was actually making a furtive movement for an offensive weapon.

I attempted a tactical shoulder roll, but fell flat on my face, kind of flopping on the pavement to avoid any incoming rounds and to make look like I meant to do that. The store owner called 911 which is good because I then did a roll and attempted to draw my Glock.

Unfortunately, since I did not have a holster, the gun "went off" and the bullet creased my wiener.  But I was prepared for that and bit down on a 10mm casing to take my mind off the pain as I dove for the garbage barrel. That’s when I noticed the Girl Scout shouting something to her mother who began to take cover. I knew they were closing on me so I drew my custom trusty 1911 Wilson COMBAT....I knew that they would be impressed with that. I then duck walked to the front of her SUV but my gut kinda’ got in the way and I fell on my ass, which caused me to swallow my 10mm casing.

I then tried to roll to my right, but didn't want to scuff my holster so I attempted a mid air conversion and just threw myself into a telephone pole, but I landed on right side anyway. So I fired one shot towards the woman’s SUV to pin them down as I recovered my wind.

And before the mother knew what was happening, I charged her and I threw my groin into her knee. I knew that as I vomited on the ground in front of her that I had interrupted her OODA loop, I had the advantage of surprise now. As she ran screaming for the Girl Scout (I knew she was going for backup) I made for my Super Charged BRAT tactical truck. I jumped into the driver seat forgetting that I had left my rare Israeli contract AR 15 Bayonet on the seat honed to a razors edge. I could handle it though; half my ass is an implant from war wounds. As I attempted to start my truck police and paramedics arrived on the scene. My truck would not start and instead backfired once and caused the police to taser me, at which point I tactically soiled myself while in convulsions. My custom 1911 then fell out the window but I still had my Centennial .38.  I knew that I had to take out the woman with the purse.

So I aimed my revolver at her at which point the first police officer fired once striking me in the chest, fortunately I was wearing my level 3A body armor. I didn't want to hurt the cops, they had obviously been duped by the evil temptress who was now embracing her partner in crime and crying to the police in the background, I knew it was a ruse.

I pulled out my concealed weapons permit badge and showed it to the officer who shot me and yelled out "I'm one of you guys", he continued to cover me and ordered me to drop my .38 so I lay it down, I still had my bayonet embedded in my ass after all. The cop walked toward me and upon reading the badge maced me right in the eyes. Fortunately my Oakley shooting glasses stopped most of the spray and I was able to rip free of the taser cords easily, it only cost me one nipple, easily replaced. I dove for the passenger side of my truck and began to run zig zag for a ditch, unfortunately the bayonet sticking out of my ass slowed me down, I knew it would have to be hand to had now. I knew the cop couldn't take me when I saw he merely carried a 9mm Glock 17 and not a man’s gun. So I immediately threw my eye into his right hook, followed by a knee into his mag light. As I lay thrashing on the ground I took the heel of my Bates enforcer boot and kicked at the cops ankle, I knew that from my classified experiences in Tajikistan that once breaking the ankle, the cop would fall down and I could "stun kick" him in the head, knocking him out but without hurting him.

Apparently the cop had also been to Tajikistan because he side stepped me and struck me in the back with his ASP baton, but my trauma plate absorbed it. I then drew my Benchmade auto knife and was promptly tased again, but I was ready for it this time and only wet myself a little bit.

Next thing those cops knew I was unconscious. That'll teach 'em.

Product Review: BammBamm's Custom Blanket Roll for Old School Wind Blockage

So recently some readers of my blog post “Ape Hangers: How to combat the flying squirrel effect” asked about the blanket roll on my Softail, where I got it, how much it was, did I really like it, etc.  Well in an effort to answer all those questions and more I am officially doing (drum roll please) my very first product review.  (Sound applause)

Wind buffeting when using ape hangers can be an exhausting experience.  After several hundred dollars and countless hours in the garage I finally was able to find the right fit and style of ape hangers for my Softail as “fit” was the most important aspect in alleviating most of the fatigue that hours of getting blown off of my bike seemed to cause.  No longer was I hanging on for dear life but I still had to maintain a death grip on my bars or hold my abs taught in an effort to keep from being blown around when going at highway speeds.  For short rides this isn’t a problem but my limit was maybe about an hour or so before I was ready to get off for a bit.  I needed a little something extra and began my hunt for a solution that was cool looking, cost effective and fit the design of my bike.

As I stated in my previous blog post, windshields didn’t suit my style and they were very expensive.  Also after my experience in trying to find the right bars I wasn’t too keen on spending hundreds of dollars trying to find the right windshield.  I researched fairings, different bar configurations even those little bikini fairings that people charge hundreds for (I have no idea why, it’s basically a coffee can cut in half strapped just above the headlight).  And as I said before someone mentioned doing it “old school” by strapping a saddle blanket to my bars.  My Softail definitely has a little old school thing going on so I thought I’d look into it.  I found virtually nobody who made blanket rolls so I decided to simply buy a saddle blanket, use a couple of small belts or large dog collars and just strap the thing to my bars.  As you might have guessed this was less than functional so I went to zip ties which while functional looked like crap.  I thought about a Bandit’s Day Bag but honestly, it looks a lot like a duffle bag strapped to the bars, Kuryakyn and T-Bags had a similar if a bit slicker of a design but still didn’t have the look I was going for, too modern, too “slick” if you will.  I wanted something that looked good enough to leave on the bike 24/7/365 preferably using leather. 

One night while pursuing the internet I came across BammBamm’s Custom Leather http://www.bammbammscustomleather.com/#/home

The website offered American made leather blanket roll harnesses with Mexican blankets for a uniquely old school and functional product.  I ordered one which at around $50 was an inexpensive risk, plus it looked way cool.  The gear arrived in short order and I inspected the harness s and blanket.  The harness was black with basket weave pattern and an eagle stamped where the cross strap meets the belted straps.  The leatherwork was definitely nice and the leather itself was thick and sturdy, overall a quality product.  The Mexican blanket?  It was made in Mexico as it should be instead of China or Pakistan (thankfully) and was also of good quality.  It kind of reminded me of a Mexican poncho I had as a kid and the pattern was a nice gray and black color which fit my bikes aesthetics perfectly.

My Ride

Satisfied with the quality of the blanket roll I strapped the blanket up and went out for a ride.  The blanket did everything a flyscreen or low level windshield would and more.  The blanket redirected the wind off of my mid section and redirected the wind making my apes more tolerable even to the point of being comfortable.  I probably grinned like an idiot for a half hour straight while on that ride, I had finally found the answer to my problem after months of searching and what’s more I felt like I could ride my bike until I was bored rather than exhausted.  What’s more is whenever I decide to take a trip somewhere for a day or two there are no saddlebags required.  I just take an extra set of clothes and roll them into the blanket and strap the whole thing down, nice and easy.  Lastly of course if I get wherever it is I’m going and I need a blanket to crash on (no pun intended) I have one handy.  Now of course this thing isn’t waterproof but if you need that I’d be willing to bet the harness would roll up with a tarp just as easily.  The blankets that come with the harness come in several colors and the harness can have either a basket weave option or for those of you with an inner cowboy a southwestern pattern and the added choices of southwestern style buckles and silver tipped straps.



My Ride



So let’s recap…costs literally hundreds less than a windshield, looks cooler, holds valuable gear and in a pinch you have a blanket…it’s a no brainer. 

More about BammBamm



Southwestern Pattern



Not willing to leave good enough alone I contacted BammBamm to learn more about the product, her company, how she makes her blanket rolls, what options there are and of course to learn a little bit more about her craft. Well, she is a new up and coming business and as you might have guessed, with a nickname like BammBamm, Kathy (her real name) is a tried and true biker.  She has been riding for 27 years and she just finished restoring a 1976 Sportster which is now her main ride.  Besides being handy with a wrench she has been working with leather since she was a 12 year old girl and has become quite an expert over the years.  She is a 1 person business, crafting every blanket roll, wallet, holster or whatever you order one by one.  Every piece she makes is custom from the ground up, she uses no machinery and does everything by hand.  It might be worth noting that BammBamm is the only blanket roll designed for motorcycles I’ve seen available online or elsewhere.  Given the price point of her product and the exceptional quality I’d say her products are some of the best deals out there.



BammBamm's Scoot



(Note for all the skeptics out there…I did not receive any compensation for this product review nor will I.  I feel that small businesses are the lifeblood of innovation and the engine that drives our economy.  When I run across people like BammBamm who are doing quality work, here in the homeland against all odds I’ll do everything I can to support them to include writing a review.  It might also be worth noting that there has been no exaggeration on my part regarding the quality of her products.  Disclaimer over, go about your business.) 



Closeup of Blanket Roll




She does wallets, holsters, etc.  Being the LSU Tigers fan that I am, I'm gonna' have to get one of these bad boys.



Do Loud Pipes Really Save Lives?

I’ve seen it on T-shirts, patches, hats and stickers, the “loud pipes save lives” verbiage.  Back in my sport bike riding days I used to just roll my eyes, picturing some yuppie on a shiny new Harley sitting at a stoplight revving the crap out of his engine until you couldn’t hear yourself think.  I really hated those guys and pretty much considered HDs to be obnoxiously loud, under powered, stink machines for dummies with too much money.  Running my sport bike to and from work every day for years taught me a lot of things about the nature of people on the roads…that the human being while behind a steering wheel is an intellectually challenged, antisocial, borderline homicidal sociopath with a tendency to find anything in the world more interesting than actually driving.  People came over into my lane without looking on a daily occasion, using my turn signals only invited people to speed up to prevent me from getting in front of them and people in any driveway, yielding green light or stop sign at any intersection just couldn’t wait to pull out in front of me so that I would have to slam on my brakes in order to prevent buffing their roof or hood with my butt.  In fact it got so bad that I just started to anticipate it, everywhere I went and just thought it was a normal part of riding.  I wore a Joe Rocket UFO jacket with all the reflective patches and piping on it.  My Ninja was silver and orange and I was fond of loud colored accessories.  I was about as visible as Richard Simmons at a Republican political rally but it still wasn’t enough.  People drove around like I simply wasn’t there.

A couple of years later, a friend of mine finally convinced me to buy a Harley.  I didn’t have much money so I was looking for a steal when I found an XL883C, 2005 with low miles on it that I just couldn’t live without and within a couple of months I was back on the road again.  The bike was noticeably louder than my Ninja was but I still had the occasional cager pulling into my lane without looking, still had trouble at intersections (though less so) and still had people speeding up to prevent me from getting into their lane, pretty much par for the course though I did notice that it was happening less frequently.  Finally one day I got the bike rejetted and the mechanic asked me to fire it up.  I did and he made a sour face and said “that doesn’t sound right” and looked up my tailpipe (which had VTwin Mfg. slip ons with baffles).  He stood back up and said to me “you gotta pull those baffles out, your strangling your bike with those things”.  So I promptly went home and did just that.  When I fired up the bike afterwards it sounded like the end of the world was coming, huge rumbling sound but with raspy overtones that just “hurt” the ears, even still I was thrilled.  After riding around for a week or so like that I noticed not a single car came into my lane, I felt like I literally owned intersections because everyone was looking my way and that cars pulling out of parking lots and driveways yielded without any swerving, locking brakes or frantic steering on my part.  Everywhere I went people stared…then I realized it was because I had become “that guy”.  The dude with the obnoxiously loud bike revving the crap out of his engine at intersections (though I generally did not do that and still don't) so back to the mechanic I went. 

I told him I liked the attention my bike was getting, people were getting out of my way and were no longer cutting me off or stealing my lane but that the harsh, raspy, out of control exhaust note just seemed over the top.  We figured out lollipop (a type of quasi-almost-baffle-thingy) might be the answer given the narrowness of my pipes combined with their overall length (which were full length).  It worked like a charm, I still had a monstrous exhaust note, very deep and resounding but it didn’t make small kids cry every time I would ride by, maybe just run to their parents instead.  I was satisfied that cagers could hear me and therefore be aware I was in the immediate vicinity.

As I thought about it I started paying attention to my own driving habits while in a cage.  Whenever I was driving alone, listening to talk radio or even some music I could definitely hear some bikes.  Whenever listening to loud music I could still here a few bikes while riding, though it was usually those riders using the skinny, trashy and classically cool drag pipes ala Cycle Shack or the like.  Now granted I was kind of looking for motorcycles but I absolutely believe that loud pipes give you more presence. Certainly more than reflective piping on your jacket or an orange t-shirt would. 

(Cycle Shacks are a true American classic but have had some people seeing red for decades.)

So do loud pipes really save lives?  In my opinion there is no doubt, but they are still no substitute for skill and attentiveness while riding.  Cagers will still find ways to distract themselves and not everyone registers the resounding exhaust note of a v-twin with “there’s a motorcycle in my vicinity”.  In my riding years I’ve noticed men tend to note the sound of a motorcycle by looking more often than women do and that the most menacing thing on the road is an SUV driving soccer mom on the cell phone.  Trust me, you could strap a foghorn to your butt and set yourself on fire and she will still not hear or see you and she’s always out there.

Now you might already be aware of this but not everyone shares my opinion.  For example the AMA “ The [AMA] believes that few other factors contribute more to misunderstanding and prejudice against the motorcycling community than excessively noisy motorcycles".  Additionally there are writers, motorcycle journalists and other enthusiasts who believe that overly loud motorcycles raise enough public ire as to result in laws that infringe on their respective rights.  Then of course there are the “scientific” studies that look at statistics where cruisers are involved in accidents and conclude that there is no demonstrable evidence suggesting that loud pipes do/have saved lives.  Of course they discount the fact that Harleys do not have the cornering, handling, braking, acceleration or generally eye catching color schemes that our sport bike counterparts have, yet we still are on the lower side of the accident bell curve.  It also discounts the fact that (sadly) some Harley owners are older, started riding much later in life, may be less experienced seasonal riders and may wear less safety gear than your average sport bike rider (but I don't think anyone has actually studied that).  Lastly, not every cruiser style bike is loud, in fact I’d say the majority including stock HD pipes are not loud by any stretch of the imagination (think Kawasaki Vulcan VN750 for example).  

For an example of a countering viewpoint there are people like this guy: http://www.virginiawind.com/byways/loud_pipes_save_lives.asp  At one point he reasons that cars cannot hear you when it matters because your pipes are not facing forward.  It’s worth noting this guy rides a touring BMW bike and does not ride what I would consider to be a “loud” bike, probably even calls himself a “motorcycle enthusiast” and who knows...may never have actually tried a loud bike but I digress.  Without getting too much into how sound waves work, let’s just put it like this, can you hear a bass guitar being played even if you’re not standing directly in front of the speaker?  Can you hear a trumpet, even if not standing directly in front of it? Can you hear a gun go off, even if it’s not pointed at you?  Can you hear a drag racer start up, even if you’re not standing directly behind or to the side of it?  Can you hear someone yelling even if they’re not facing you? Can you hear a motorcycle coming your way, even if you’re not immediately behind them? Alright, at some point you’ve got to use some common sense. 

(Do you think you'd hear this guy coming even if not directly in front of his pipes?)

Now I understand the sense against pissing off the general public, even though I think if all bikers were to do their part politically this would be a nonstarter as concerns go.  I also understand how some motorcyclists might feel that my actions may reflect poorly on them (not that I give a rat’s derriere, especially if they are not part of a politically involved organization to protect their rights) but what I cannot understand are some of these studies performed that attempt to get people to ignore their own experience and observations.  I cannot believe that my story is entirely unique, that others have not noticed the phenomenon that I notice.  I can believe however that there are some out there, who have never tried anything other than what they “know” believing whatever they’re told (after all, how do you think Obama got elected).  So even though it’s a controversial topic and my position may not agree with everyone else out there, loud pipes, whether politically correct or not, legal or not, polite or not, definitely save lives.